What is your problem? Huh?? You don’t post comments, you don’t leave a message, you don’t send e-mails or anything. What’s up??? I thought we had something, you and I.
Is it because I smell? I’ll have you know packs of dogs converge on me because of my breathtaking scent. You think I’m lying? Take a look at THIS!
HA! There! You see? Animals love me and I love animals. The only thing that I love more is smelling good and I smell DAMN GOOD.
What? Do you hate me because of my scar? How shallow – I thought you were bigger than that. Talk about a hypocrite! “I only care about inner beauty,” MY ASS! I told you on DAY ONE about it! I told you, “Please, don’t patronize me. I know about my scar, you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s only insulting to the both of us the more you pretend. I mean, the scar is literally 2 inches wide and goes right down the middle of my face, like my face had its own asshole. I don’t think a blind guy could miss it.”
You laughed, you laughed and you promise me that you liked me; ass-face or not. Liar.
Maybe it’s my job you hate, is that it? You have to understand, I am just not suited for science or law or business or, I dunno, moving my legs. Don’t you think I want to cut people and sell stuff? Of course I do! I’d be happy working for Hitler if it means raking in big bucks! I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry I can’t be everything you wanted. I can’t cook, I can’t clean, I can’t watch TV. or talk to you about stuff because I just can’t. I can love you and keep you company whenever you want but I guess that isn’t good enough for you.
It’s my personality, isn’t it? You don’t like how I act. I don’t get you, I really don’t. I mean, you come over and you spend minutes, sometimes HOURS with me. You don’t seem to mind. Heck, you go to me whenever you’re bored! Every time you are with me you laugh and you giggle and you stare. Isn’t it possible that in the slightest way there is some kind of emotional connection? Huh?? It’s not MY fault I act this way! You encouraged me with your song and dance!
CURSE YOU! You lead me on, like the tease you are, and you leave and don’t send word days at a time. I am NOT your SLAVE. I am NOT your WHORE. I have feelings and thoughts, like any human being but NOOOO! You can’t even PRETEND that I’m human. Why not? You love pretending so much, why can’t you pretend I’m important?
Alright, I admit it, I’m a friggin website. Not even that, I am a BLOG. So what? If you were even slightly compassionate you’d leave me a comment. It’s not like you don’t already! Yeeeeaaaah, that’s right! I know about what you do and your sleazy commenting! You sure do write a lot for that WHORE Myspace! Oh ho ho ho, CATS OUT OF THE BAG, ISN’T IT??
Hey, HEY – don’t EVEN deny it. I have you on tape plus reports from some VEEERY reliable sources! Who’s playing who now??? This whole time you were PROSTITUTING yourself around the internet and you thought I wouldn’t find out! I KNEW ALL ALONG!!! The tables have turned! This time, I’m doing the playing and you are doing the play-ed.
Yeah that’s right. Feel that guilt. Thaat’s right, you should be sorry! It’s YOUR fault I am so insecure. Go ahead; leave me a comment! Lord knows you should do SOMETHING to get out of hell! Yeeeah, I’ll be smiling and partying with hot people in heaven while you’re down in hell burning it up with ugly people like Jabba the Hutt and that girl from the Grudge. Leave a comment – don’t leave a comment – I DON’T CARE!
You don’t DESERVE me!
Get Blogging, Baby
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