Man and Chimp differ by the slimmest percentage, biologically. Man and apes are varied in their genetic makeup by less than 3%. Because of this, an Orangutan is capable of mating with a Gorilla to produce a super strong, super orange ape. Likewise, the Chimp can mate with the Bonobo to produce a Chimpobo. Yet with these possibilities available, why have we not seen more hybrid monkeys on the market?
Oh sure, the ethics behind such experimenting is unnatural. Cruel. Maybe even evil - if we're all feeling so unscientific enough to use the word. But I say, the benefits of ape hybrids far outweigh the possible consequences. Consider this: an elderly man's helper monkey dies from exhaustion. It is a monkey. They regularly die from such things. But this man still needs his refrigerator moved. Well that dead monkey sure won't help him. It's already rotting away like a typical lazy, deceased, monkey. What to do?
Well not only would a hybrid ape be twice as smart as the regular ape but it would also posses the strength of combined apes. "Sure, old man. I'll move your refrigerator for you. And I'll do it with a gentle tip of my cap and a tune in my heart," the ape would say.
Not practical enough? Well picture this - the denizens of the deep are rising out of the oceans. Vengeful. Eyes full of fury. They want the land and they are going to take it whether we like it or not. Our puny guns and explosive ordinance do little to penetrate the arcanite steel of the mighty whale warriors. What to do? Super apes. That's what. For when brains meet might and lose, what's left is to send in our Super-strong-hybrid-apes (and America's greatest bodybuilders) in the ultimate match of brawn versus might. Muscle shall defeat muscle.
Is helping the elderly ethical? Is fighting for our freedom to exist ethical? There's no question there. Now, this could be all hearsay. I could be overlooking the ecological ramifications; introducing a whole new species in an already crumbling global ecosystem. Or, heaven forbid, I'm grossly inconsiderate of the ape's feelings. "Ooh but I don't want to hump a gorilla. Waa. Waaa."
"SHUT UP, you dumb orangutan!" I shout. "THIS IS FOR SCIENCE." And the orangutan, realizing how badly behaved it has been, releases its grip from its tear-soaked pillow and proceeds to make sweet, wonderful love to the gorilla. It is a fantasy. It is a vision. Love - eternal. Ethics? What ethics? Ethic's power to halt the progress of science is as strong as it's ability to stop love. And love is unstoppable, ethics, you moron.
Yet the naysayers will naysay and naysay until their balls are blue from naying, but they never consider the problem at hand: we are at the precipice of great change. Change uncertain. Beyond, in the other side, is darkness. Humans have always confided in religion and magic when they confront uncertainty. But now humans can no longer rely on make-believe to carry them through the abyss. They risk destruction if they do. Man now confides more on their own ability to progress. To insure their own security. But in doing so, man has moved out of the shadows of his cave and into a deeper and darker world of unknowning. Man made god. Man can be god. But man does not need to take this journey on their own. They can have companions. They can have super-strong smart-apes.
So I hope you will accept my proposal and approve my human/ape hybrid. 'cause, hey, why have two monkeys doing it when you can be in on the action? Aww yes.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Movie Season
Lotsa movies are out gang, but the best one so far has to be that new Fast and Furious movie. Like, I've just seen the trailer so far but it looks very promising. It might be just as funny as the last Fast and Furious movie and here's why:
The cars are popping wheelies.
That's right folks, freaking wheelie popping cars. We have to see this movie. It is the comedy event of the season.
The cars are popping wheelies.
That's right folks, freaking wheelie popping cars. We have to see this movie. It is the comedy event of the season.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Driving on I-10 = Relations 101
Okay, every time I go back home from LA or drive my sister back from her work, this same thought always pops into my head...the carpool lane is a lot like marriage.
See, initially the carpool lane offers a small section of freedom as one races down the freeway going 80-90 mph, the honeymoon phase as you will. Then, you hit bumps along the way such as a slow-ass bus or even more traffic since it is just one lane (financial problems, nagging wife, kids, etc. in the marital realm). You are stuck, you are committed to those two yellow lines and to those marriage vows, for better or worse.
Sticking with the regular five lanes of freeway, however, is bachelor life. If you don't like one lane (one girl)...easy breezy, just move on to the next. Swerving in and out of traffic...tapping a different girl every night. This is all in search of the fastest lane, the most epic climax.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes the carpool is the right choice; nothing but smooth sailing. But, more times than not, I stick with the loose lifestyle of the FREE-way.
See, initially the carpool lane offers a small section of freedom as one races down the freeway going 80-90 mph, the honeymoon phase as you will. Then, you hit bumps along the way such as a slow-ass bus or even more traffic since it is just one lane (financial problems, nagging wife, kids, etc. in the marital realm). You are stuck, you are committed to those two yellow lines and to those marriage vows, for better or worse.
Sticking with the regular five lanes of freeway, however, is bachelor life. If you don't like one lane (one girl)...easy breezy, just move on to the next. Swerving in and out of traffic...tapping a different girl every night. This is all in search of the fastest lane, the most epic climax.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes the carpool is the right choice; nothing but smooth sailing. But, more times than not, I stick with the loose lifestyle of the FREE-way.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Pathetic...Just Pathetic
I won't name names...but a certain A-man can't last two days without violating certain Japanese female rights (2GB of pictures...disgusting). Al and Wake, you guys know who I am talking about...lol.
I thought there was hope. I was wrong...DEAD WRONG (a la Mr. Al Yen)
I thought there was hope. I was wrong...DEAD WRONG (a la Mr. Al Yen)
Monday, March 09, 2009
Read a great exchange today
"As a scientist one of the main reasons I will NEVER vote Republican, if they do not change, is because of their denial of good science and their bastardization of the scientific method.
Until Republicans stop attacking evolution and climate change, which are based on good science, they will NEVER get my vote. You just have to start dealing in the real world to come up with solutions to our problems.
Under Bush, ideology set the policies and they tried to make science fit their ideological conclusion. Good science is dispassonate, objective and open minded.
Good government policy should be based on good science utilizing the scientific method."
Of course there was a conservative response:
"In the light of the multitude of left-wing scientific myths and hoaxes, it would be nice for leftists to admit that their side is as guilty of anti-scientific thinking as anyone else.
LEFTIST GREAT BARRIER MYTH:
http://www.goldendolphin.com/eco/IPABackgrounder17-1.pdf
LEFTIST DDT MYTH:
http://www.junkscience.com/ddtfaq.html
LEFTIST GLOBAL WARMING MYTH
http://icecap.us/index.php/go/joes-blog/comments_about_global_warming/
http://www.cfif.org/htdocs/legislative_issues/federal_issues/hot_issues_in_congress/energy/Scientists-Shatter-the-Myth-Scientific-Consensus-Global-Warming.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZBP-JYzQKg
INCESSANT LEFTIST MYTHS ABOUT GUNS:
http://gunowners.org/fs9901.htm
and
http://gunowners.org/fs0401.htm
The Left-wingers' belief that right-wingers oppose science is achieved by left-wingers' refusal to embrace scientific evidence to the contrary."
Well of course this guy got buried alive:
"You forgot to mention that persistent liberal nonsense about the earth being round."
"Bad science bought and paid for by your right wing organizations is not science."
"We'd produce photos from space (which would be called fakes), scientist explaining the movement of the stars (which would be junk science), and all sorts of physical science experiments that confirmed a round earth (which would be dismissed as a grand conspiracy by brainwashed "leftist").
Scientists are not debating global warming... skeptics are. Skeptics who get their funding from oil companies, who have a vested interest in the status quo (and not paying for the mess they create)."
Well they could still get away with one positive talking point, right?
"They were never prohibited from doing embryonic research. MILLIONS, if not billions, has been pumped into embryonic stem cell research by both state governments and private foundations/corporations/individuals.
People on both sides of the issue need to be educated about this. Federal money is entirely UNNECESSARY in funding for embryonic stem cell research."
I DON'T THINK SO!
"'Federal money is entirely UNNECESSARY in funding for embryonic stem cell research.'
Federal money is entirely UNNECESSARY for invading noncombative nations and taxcuts for the rich, but that didn't stop you, now did it?"
Anyway, the president lifted Bush's federal ban on stem cell research today. Sweet, sweet science had a chance to taste victory at last. In your face Wakefield.
Until Republicans stop attacking evolution and climate change, which are based on good science, they will NEVER get my vote. You just have to start dealing in the real world to come up with solutions to our problems.
Under Bush, ideology set the policies and they tried to make science fit their ideological conclusion. Good science is dispassonate, objective and open minded.
Good government policy should be based on good science utilizing the scientific method."
Of course there was a conservative response:
"In the light of the multitude of left-wing scientific myths and hoaxes, it would be nice for leftists to admit that their side is as guilty of anti-scientific thinking as anyone else.
LEFTIST GREAT BARRIER MYTH:
http://www.goldendolphin.com/eco/IPABackgrounder17-1.pdf
LEFTIST DDT MYTH:
http://www.junkscience.com/ddtfaq.html
LEFTIST GLOBAL WARMING MYTH
http://icecap.us/index.php/go/joes-blog/comments_about_global_warming/
http://www.cfif.org/htdocs/legislative_issues/federal_issues/hot_issues_in_congress/energy/Scientists-Shatter-the-Myth-Scientific-Consensus-Global-Warming.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZBP-JYzQKg
INCESSANT LEFTIST MYTHS ABOUT GUNS:
http://gunowners.org/fs9901.htm
and
http://gunowners.org/fs0401.htm
The Left-wingers' belief that right-wingers oppose science is achieved by left-wingers' refusal to embrace scientific evidence to the contrary."
Well of course this guy got buried alive:
"You forgot to mention that persistent liberal nonsense about the earth being round."
"Bad science bought and paid for by your right wing organizations is not science."
"We'd produce photos from space (which would be called fakes), scientist explaining the movement of the stars (which would be junk science), and all sorts of physical science experiments that confirmed a round earth (which would be dismissed as a grand conspiracy by brainwashed "leftist").
Scientists are not debating global warming... skeptics are. Skeptics who get their funding from oil companies, who have a vested interest in the status quo (and not paying for the mess they create)."
Well they could still get away with one positive talking point, right?
"They were never prohibited from doing embryonic research. MILLIONS, if not billions, has been pumped into embryonic stem cell research by both state governments and private foundations/corporations/individuals.
People on both sides of the issue need to be educated about this. Federal money is entirely UNNECESSARY in funding for embryonic stem cell research."
I DON'T THINK SO!
"'Federal money is entirely UNNECESSARY in funding for embryonic stem cell research.'
Federal money is entirely UNNECESSARY for invading noncombative nations and taxcuts for the rich, but that didn't stop you, now did it?"
Anyway, the president lifted Bush's federal ban on stem cell research today. Sweet, sweet science had a chance to taste victory at last. In your face Wakefield.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Got some great news for you guys
In this article, researchers have linked reaction time to long life spans.
It also means intelligence determines how long a person lives. Logically, intellect governs the type of choices we make - meaning we usually make smart choices - and now it's backed up by biology!
This is great. Technically speaking, we A-men, if we keep up our powerful brains, will outlive 90% of the people we know today our age.
And that's today's A-men related news.
It also means intelligence determines how long a person lives. Logically, intellect governs the type of choices we make - meaning we usually make smart choices - and now it's backed up by biology!
This is great. Technically speaking, we A-men, if we keep up our powerful brains, will outlive 90% of the people we know today our age.
And that's today's A-men related news.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Monday, March 02, 2009
Train Your Willpower For Pennies A Month
Buy a can of Pringles and try to eat only one chip a day for 90 days.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Happy March!
Hey Guys!
Yay! I get the first post for March! =]
I just wanted to say "Hi!" cuz I haven't seen any of you guys in eons! Altho... I was in Newport Beach on Thursday and got to see Tiffy, Chau, My, and JennDu. And then on Friday, I bumped into Anne and Karen walking to class so we got to chat a bit.
It's friggin 9th week! Ahh... finals are coming! Boo! But afterwards, we should all hang out over Spring Break! (Maybe even take that Hooters trip you guys wanted so much. Haha!) Alritey, I need to stop procrastinating and finish my papers.
Oh ya! Remember to change your clocks on March 8th! We're springing forward an hour as Daylight Saving Time starts.
Yay! I get the first post for March! =]
I just wanted to say "Hi!" cuz I haven't seen any of you guys in eons! Altho... I was in Newport Beach on Thursday and got to see Tiffy, Chau, My, and JennDu. And then on Friday, I bumped into Anne and Karen walking to class so we got to chat a bit.
It's friggin 9th week! Ahh... finals are coming! Boo! But afterwards, we should all hang out over Spring Break! (Maybe even take that Hooters trip you guys wanted so much. Haha!) Alritey, I need to stop procrastinating and finish my papers.
Oh ya! Remember to change your clocks on March 8th! We're springing forward an hour as Daylight Saving Time starts.
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