Hoss told me about Victor and his organization's little predicament, and I, being the outrageous troublemaker that I am, would love to help out in whatever way I can (mostly, in an editorial to your school paper). With my extensive knowledge in politics and my ability to rile up the people, I'm certain I can be a really good asset to your campaign, Vicky Boy. In fact, why not just come down here and take me up there? I'll run as the third party candidate. I'll drain the votes from that dance-marathon loving loser and I'll punch his dick after election day (implied homosexual abuse).
That and many more things I can do - for no charge at all! I only want you to write up some information about this - what are your fears? Your hopes? Your backup plans? I want the scoop and I want it hard (more implied homosexual abuse).
Get writing, life saver.
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