Is a dream a lie if it don't come true or is it something worse?

Oh, what could've been. Past midnight yesterday, Wakefield calls me up:

"Alex. Did Hoss tell you about tomorrow?"

"No. What's going on?"

"We're going down to San Diego tomorrow night. Are you in?"

And just like that, my next two days were set up. By the afternoon of the next day i made a call to Hoss to see what the plan was. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but here's the gist of it: at night Wake would pick up me and Hoss. From there we would drive on down to UCSD. We'd then magically call Jin or Olivia or whomever, despite not having their numbers, and then hope that one of them would take Hoss and me in for a night while Wake sleeps 'til morning at his fling's place.

Problem with that, of course, is our reliance on something that, for one: was highly unlikely; and two: was completely impossible. Why the crap would Jin or Olivia let two guys they hardly talk to sleep over? And, of course, how the crap would we contact them without their contact information?

So the plan, as I rephrased it, went like this: Wake was gonna go to San Diego to sleep and along the way he'd drop me and Hoss somewhere on campus and we'd be left to fend for ourselves.The plan was awry. It was logically flawed. Moreso than our usual projects. Yet it did not deter for one second my intentions to go on this adventure - for it was truly an adventure like no other. For once in a long while I would be in a sticky situation where, depending on how compliant the A-men would be, we could've achieved outrageous success or vicious consequence. But no matter what, memories would've been made. That's priceless stuff. But tonight, it was not meant to be.

I call Wakefield when I return from class and I expressed my opinion on the sketchy plans of the night. Now that's something I probably shouldn't of done 'cause he took it the wrong way and got mad at me. I guess he figured he was doing me a favor by taking me on this trip. He also understood the ridiculousness of the idea so that turned him off the ordeal. In the end I let Hoss decide for me. I'm still in my seat in Irvine. Adventureless.

But of course nothing is as it seems when Wake's involved - a lesson I keep forgetting. Why, even stretching back to the San Francisco trip when he conspired to meet with a girl named Teddy, stringing me along with his devious plot, he always played a layered game. Only his games were full of trap cards.

And we're always helpless kuriboh.

Tonight is, again, one of those nights. Though I wish I could be there in the heat of battle, I've learned through years of friendship that Wake's affairs are best left for Wake to handle - for a Wakefield mess is a mess like no other. Built by a madman with hands made of tiny ants, his is a tangled affair of poisonous rope and creaky pulleys, each attached to cage of scorpions, where the slightest jolt and tug catapults the venomous critters straight to the groin.

Depending on how tonight plays out, Wake will walk away with his full groin, half his groin, or no groin at all. Regardless, I wish him the best of luck. He'll need it. To save his groin.

I will say that I am just a slight bit disappointed. Not so much my wasted time. Not so much my not being on an adventure. Rather, the reasoning we use to not participate in this adventure - reason itself. It did not stand to reason for Wake to drive over to Hoss' place, then my place, and then to SD, where me and Hoss would be abandoned for awhile, then in the afternoon leave early for Hoss to make it to his class. Unreasonable.

It is a shame, and a disappointment, to realize even we A-men are subject to the will of the world. Adventure died today (for me and Hoss) in the face of reason. I can only wait for the next opportunity a rare occasion like this will come along.